My own special way of saying thank you for all the junk mail

Hello Everyone,
I'd like to stop and take this special moment to thank all the junk mail solicitors that have written me about penis enlargements. I have taken the time and money out of my busy schedule to respond to and purchase each of their offers. From hence forth you are all to address me as "Incoveniently Large Dick Man" LOL! And for those of you who are wondering, yes, I do get a custom made cape with that!

Hi AlectStaar,
Yes they can be humorous, but usually I just delete them. I do remember seeing one around Christmas time that really made me giggle. It said this year get your man what he really wants for christmas and it was Viagra. Can you imagine the level of embarassment after getting a penis enhancer in your stocking right in front of your whole family?
-Christian

Viagra, the gift that keeps on giving!! (rimshot)

If I had the interest, I would just reply with a link to "The Giver" from goatse...

i recall when penis enlargements first came out a few years back - supposedly China had the HIGHEST rate of purchase, and it was mainly wifes getting them as gifts for their husbands...haha


if my wife ever got me one!!! ..LOL i would go get her a certificate to get tucked - tightened and enlarged and be - "honey - 2 can play at this game!"

Hi Mr. Guvernment,
That sounds like a worthy revenge, but really if my wife (assuming I had one ;)) wanted me to do that. I'd probably feel inadequate for a little bit and if she insisted I'd recommend she stop asking or find a different mate.
-Christian

Oh boy, how many different e-mails have I gotten pertaining to that crap. I'm so glad for the lovely "block sender" option.

Hi Brian Frank,
I gotta be really honest with you block sender isn't going to help that much, because most professional smammers use a new e-mail address each time they send something out. All the same it's better than nothing. Creating in box rules is a much better way to go. For example you might create an in box rule that send "gigantic schlong" to the trash . I should probably add one for viagara that seems to be very common. Although I could miss out on an e-mail from a girlfriend if I set up a rule for "impressive" and "penis" . Just kidding. Don't I wish.
Adios Amigo,
Christian

IF MSN. or Hotmail would ask for a credit card to verify id, then this might cut down on bulk mail

Hi Sapiens,
You're probably right, I kept reading about all the new security measures they were going to do, and yet they still hadn't implimented that one. I think there should be a one e-mail per credit ID. That'd make it considerably more difficult to create alias'es. Although they'd probably just wind up creating a credit card whose sole purpose was simplicity to join and had no credit checks. These e-mailers can afford to do what they do, because the 6 percent of the population that are idiots (I get this from telemarketing statistics I've heard of) keep buying their garbage.
Adios Amigo,
Christian

That doesn't surprise me one bit, there are an awful lot of stupid people out there. Although nothing scares me more, when one of my friends forwards me some ridiculous offer they were spammed :x . I worry about their ability to smell a rat and how that might cost them considerable time and money in the future . Oh and thanks for the lengthy reply about my programming. I'll respond to that in the morning . I'm off to snooze-ville for now x).
Adios Amigo,
Christian

99.99% of the time, spam mailers don't actually send from the address in the sent from field in the spam mail. Apparantly its real easy to fake that. Often they will hack into unsecure email servers and use them to fire off their trash.

Hi Hacker,
Yes you're absolutely right about the e-mail address spoofing. When I worked at Microsoft some of the guys, I never found out who ;(, wrote me an e-mail as if it was from BillG@Microsoft.com which by the way, somewhat follows their naming conventions. For example my name was Christian Blackburn and my e-mail alias was Chribl@Microsoft.com. Basically it simply needs to be major offense to send out spam. It is a major crime, because so many people's time is wasted in the process.
Just my two cents,
Christian

Or even better, have it be a fraud case for using some else's email address and spoofing theirs.

Hi Adam,
Yes I think that using someone's e-mail should count and possibly does qualify as unlawful impersonation 8) . Good point, although that could just be one of the additional counts they could stick a spammer with when they get caught.
-Christian

I guess it's probably going to take a spammer using a Senator's email address (or something to that general effect) before anything gets done, though...

Just as a sidenote:

In the past 2 days, my Yahoo! account has been sent 34 seperate spam messages and with Yahoo! Spam Filter active, only 1 of them got through to my inbox, the rest sit quietly in "Bulk-Mail".

My Hotmail account may get 1 or 2 each day.

My real email address through a commercial ISP has server side spam filters and I never get spam on that address.