[jdulmage]

Ok, I figured I would make this post to commend the people who had to suffer through the pain of a user who knows little to jack $hit about their computer.

Top 10 Idiot Customers:

10. Are the programs stored in the RAM or the ROM?

9. I didn't know ***** was illegal.

8. Windows Millenium was the best OS Microsoft ever came out with.

7. Wasn't MS coming out with their own Linux flavor?

6. Does that light by your monitor switch mean you are online?

5. Dial-Up to Cable hasn't made much of a speed difference.

4. My hard drive still has well over 15 Gigahertz of space left.

3. I could just put Diablo 2 on to a couple of floppy disks right?

2. My monitor is messed up, could someone have hacked in to the screen?

and Number 1:

I don't need an operating system, they are pointless


Top 5 Idiot Company Employees:

5. "This modem requires Windows 95 or better, Pentium 100 or better. But I don't know anything" - Referring to an ISA modem, the requirements were for the software that I didn't need.

4. "The Latest IE is 5.01, and you can download it anywhere" - Referring to the latest IE when asked on a TV show back in late 2001.

3. "We don't have AMD systems in our store, we only provide the best" - And Intel is the answer? I obviously left the store immediately.

2. "We don't support NT operating systems" - Gee, thanks for nothing and bye bye now. Trying to get help with a modem problem that doesn't need an OS response anyways.

And Number 1:

"2.0 Ghz/512 RAM/100GB 5400 RPM Drive. Comes with no operating system, no monitor and the motehrboards can't be expanded for only $3,999". - Gee, my company sells a system that is loads better for $1,500 cheaper.

There you have it. Feel free to submit your experiences.

[CrazyKillerMan]

I always chuckle when at help desk, and you ask customer to bring in their computer, and tehy say "Ok - so ill just bring in the hard drive then."

[Brian Frank]

I moderate a different message board (we're down right now due to the current host crapping out for large periods of time), and this guy insists that you can install Windows 98 on an NTFS partition. I asked him how he could manage that, and he flamed me for it acting like it was common knowledge. His answer: use the Win2k CD to format the drive to NTFS and then can the Win2k install and setup 98 as usual. I'm no MCSE, but that was the biggest load of BS I've heard. For the record, the guy hates my guts and goes for personal attacks when he rears his ugly head on the board (not much, thankfully). That's still so funny how insistant he was on the 98 NTFS thing---even though an MCSE told him it wasn't possible.

One experience at a local shop that really pissed me off was when I went to seek advice on what to do to get a problematic motherboard working. The response the tech I had was something like this: "I don't really like them and I'm pretty sure the motherboard is defective" I figured I'd missed something, but he just spoke his mind about that brand of motherboard instead of giving me a useful response.

I've also been told that Windows ME is a good OS...but I'd rather leave that thread in the closet after the hell I went through there

[CUViper]

Going back a ways, I seem to remember that someone on here claimed rather adamently that Win2k ran games better if you did an upgrade installation from 98, or something like that. Come to think of it, wasn't that you jdulmage?

AHA! I found it! (see here) No offense jdulmage, but MAN, that was one of the better ones I've seen...

[jdulmage]

It certainly was, the point being, I was a **** hole then, and I'm not now.

Secondly, I tell you, it was a joke.

Brian Frank...there is a program out there that allows you to use NTFS in Windows 9x...I don't remember the name, but I'm pretty sure you can't install 9x on an NTFS, but you can convert to NTFS after you install it. It's confusing, I will find the link sometime.

CUViper...the past is through with us, so quit embarassing me

[jdulmage]

what about this comment I made when I was bragging about being so smart:

"HAHAHA, you have got to be kidding me, computer illiterate, i have been working with computers since 1992. I am currently one of the best computer students in my whole student."

Nice one. I am the best student in my whole student now
But I graduated already.

Same thread, a few posts down.

[jdulmage]

I pretty much had you guys pissed by the end of that, I am still reading the posts now.

[Brian Frank]

Quote:

Brian Frank...there is a program out there that allows you to use NTFS in Windows 9x...I don't remember the name, but I'm pretty sure you can't install 9x on an NTFS, but you can convert to NTFS after you install it. It's confusing, I will find the link sometime.

Yeah, that's what people have told me, and I can assure you that that's not what the guy was making it at. He threatened that he'd do it at school and then "school" me. ;( If you want, I can get the link (one Zone 365 is back up).

[jdulmage]

hahahaha, yea, post it here

[Brian Frank]

Here it is: http://forums.zone365.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=1011#post1011

[DosFreak]

Confidence is KEY for success in the computer world but Stuborness and Arrogance is NOT. I've seen many people in this field that had all three and went on to success....somehow... but the truly great people in this field have just the one...Confidence.


'Fear is the mind-killer.' You cannot be meek when it comes to working on computer tech but you must also recognize when you are wrong...unfortunately people for some reason do not like to think that they can possible be wrong for some odd reason even tho it's a fact that no being on Earth has been nor ever will be perfect.

Let's see..... oh here's a good one:

I set up Sniffer in Promiscuous mode on the external side of our network, emailed the rest of the shop that Sniffer was going and told 'em to take a look if I wanted. Came in the next day to find that Sniffer was shut down. The reason? Earlier that day one of the Tech's desktop computer was acting slow. Mouse moved slowly, applications took forever to load, network performance was terrible. He IMMEDIATELY blamed it on the Sniffer without even looking at his desktop config. Looking at his config he had TONS of memory hoggin' apps, an ancient Windows NT install, cluttered registery, corrupted filesystem, fragmented partitions...basically everything. We had to sit down and explain the basics of Sniffer to him. ;(

[Admiral LSD]

Quote:

It certainly was, the point being, I was a **** hole then, and I'm not now.

http://www.ntcompatible.com/vb/showthread.php?s=&postid=104762#post104762

Really?

[JP-]

some things never change

[Silver-Dagger]

This is my favorite and a clasic:

Program says to 'Press "any key" to continue'.

I have looked everywhere, on the keyboard, box (CPU), mouse, and printer and I can not find anything that says 'Any Key'.

I have acually heard one help desk person tell the customer that it was the 'n' key on the keyboard.

[Champion_R]

When I brought my FlyVideo 2000, the guy in the computer store said I wouldn't be able to capture with it. He said I would need the FlyVideo 3000 (which was AUD$50 more expensive). The only difference between the two is that the 3000 has a stereo tuner.

Everyone has their fair share of smartarses. I remeber one guy back in high school. He thought he was top. LOL he used to use Drivespace on floppies and store ZIP files on them.

[CUViper]

Quote:

This is my favorite and a clasic:

Program says to 'Press "any key" to continue'.

I have looked everywhere, on the keyboard, box (CPU), mouse, and printer and I can not find anything that says 'Any Key'.

I have acually heard one help desk person tell the customer that it was the 'n' key on the keyboard.

The folks at Compaq were kind enough to answer this one....

[Immortal]

Well, it seems that now we know where to point stupid, ignorant etc.. customers/friends when they ask a stupid question! Dont waste ur breath, just tell them to look at Compaqs website, unless that brings up another barrage of questions about how to use the internet, then dont bother!

My own personal experiance with this was when one of my friends asked me to change his CD drive, and so i did.
The next day he told me to change it again, this time I asked why, and he said:
"becuase my CD's in the drive always make noises", I then informed him, in the clamest state any one can be in while holding back their rage at the other persons stupidity, that these noises were becuase of the ball bearings in his Samsung drive adjusting to different speeds (which was stated in the manual), he didnt beleive me so i showed him my Samsung drive on my PC, which made exactly the same noises.
Then i told him, next time you buy anything always read the manual, and beleive it!
And i never heard another stupid complain again!

[brantgurga]

Check out the stupid ticket column if you are a voluntary technician at protonic.com. If not, sign up, it is free.

[Admiral LSD]

Quote:

The folks at Compaq were kind enough to answer this one....

Is that supposed to be representative of the average level of intelligence apparent amongst Compaq users?

[sapiens74]

My favorite is the Noob who posts something like this:

"I have been been reading about all my upgrade options and am wondering what you guys think about what I have chosen. After reading all the posts I think my best option is an AMD CPU, any XP will do, and a really good VIa based motherboard. I also want to know your opinion on the SB live series of cards. I have been also looking at the Kyro based cards."

It's like asking for trouble